I'mma Tool, I'mma Fool

Please can anyone out there get this stress out of me? Few days back, I was in this exciting mode, which everyone can't explain why.The main reason is, it's me, the one who feels it. So don't bother.

A friend of mine, asked me a week before CNY, and said something like this,

"This coming chinese new year, please get yourself at home (Kluang), I'll be there, I missed to hang out w you",

Oh, Isn't that sweet, is it? I'm eager. A friend like me is eager if knowing this, meeting friends, lagi-lagi yang rapat & baik punya!

So, here I am, Chinese New Year, stuck at home, eating satay, online, and watching weekend dramas. I texted & called everyone I know, I love, but they all gone like my numbers are set as unknown stranger. I cried for some stupid shits, I know I shouldn't. But oh come on, where are all those pledges gone? A friend stands as a liar? I can't accept it la bai. Aku tanya jawab lah. Jangan kecoh bodoh ckp nak jumpe, last2 p jumpe boyfriend, ah kau mmg terbaik, bile ade masalah je cari aku. Terima kasih. Apa? aku emosi, silakan berkata begitu. Aku emosi sbb bukan susah pun kau nak bg excuse or reply my text. FML. I won't be this emotional if you at least reply my msg. Geram ai.

So, I called someone (who finally answered my phone calls) to reduce my emotional distress. But all I've got the same old answer. FML once again. I deserved it. I know. So please people, FML so hard.

Ini aku nak mencarut menggunakan point :

: Tiap kali ade boyfriend, org lupe kawan.

: Bila ade masalah baru nak cari kawan.

: Bila bahagia kejap, cari la gak, tapi kejap je pastu lupa daratan.

: Lepastu cakap busy sebab ade keja pantat ape tah, tp jumpe boifren beratus batu, beribu kilometer sanggup.

: Aku tak jeles pun org ade bf ni, aku sakit hati sebab sume lupe diri.

: Kalau agak-agak lepas ni da xde boyfriend, kau cari aku x?

: Aku agak berani buat statement mcm ni, sebab aku da selalu sgt kena. Selalu sgt rasa dipergunakan.

: Aku dah tak tahan, so I build this kind of point of view sbb aku rasa I have a right to say what I need to say.

: Sebab semalam-semalam-semalam-semalam-nye kau ckp "I'll be there for you whenever u need me".

: Enough. I've got so many wounds in my heart & lungs. I can't breath due to so many tears come outside. T_T

: I need a break. Period.

P.S : Hebat menangis. Sukati aku lah!

I Still Want You, Yes You

P.S : This Psycho Bitch declared that she missed you so bad.

Runaway

Ok, I'm not. Period.

So I wrote a new song week ago.

A still same old storyline idk how to say/describe.

But yeah still the same idea as those i wrote before.

About how I feel toward this guy.

HAHA. LAME zial!

So here's the lyrics.

Feel,

The sunshine, above your head,

That's what you said.

Do you,

Know what love means,

Don't say it if you don't mean it.

So,

I keep run and run and run,

And runaway,

From your life,

From your eyes,

From your heart,

I can't stand being patience,

I can't stand being such an idiot,

So I keep on running and running and, fly away.

You,

Teach me, how to stay,

To make way and how to care.

You,

Seed me, some hatred,

Inside me I can't make it stays.

P.S : It's for you, :) dude.

Holding Back To The Past

and I miss my childhood.

where I know nothing but feel pleasure and fun.

where everyone loves me even I did something unnecessarily.

where people pointing their smiles when I say something stupid.

where everyone feels guilty when I cried.

I want these back.

I want to be like I used to be.

I want to be someone's precious.

I want to be me, the most precious due to the meaning of my name's.

P.S : Hello, old friend.

It's Hard To Say, Isn't It?

I don't know why are you keep on silent. I don't know where you are and what are you doing at this time. I know I seem wasn't care at all, but deep in my soul, you'll feel the needs that trembling inside me. I won't shake it. I won't. It might be worst if I did it. I had to ignore these feelings I had since I'm with you. I have to deal with these. You don't know. You will never know.

P.S : are we in a 'break-up' moment?